So thinking, thinking… it's been that sort of weekend.

Mainly about fic and fic writing. Again. Yeah, I am just SO boring. Anyhow.

That last fic, the one that didn't even feature Leo? It was good. And you know WHY? Because it came straight from my heart. I wrote it in five minutes flat. I was processing things in my head while I changed the sheets on the bed and it was just… there. I grabbed the nearest piece of paper and a pen and I wrote. Ten minutes later, I was on the comp, did a quick edit and added some punctuation (periods and quote marks are our friends), and it was there.

Part of my problem with writing (one of many problems I have) is that I've been trying so much lately to write that everything is coming up as trite and contrived. None of it is from my heart. And fic that isn't from the heart just winds up… flat. It's great to have an idea, a concept, a vision of what you want written, but unless you can add the heart to it, it's nothing.

Also, totally unrelated –

1. When cleaning this weekend, I found an old writing notebook with about a half dozen unfinished fics, including a Sam/Ainsley one based around when he left the show. The fragments I had were GOOD. I couldn't pick up the threads of those stories now if I tried, but just knowing they still existed amazed me.

2. A beta is a thing of beauty. And love. Because most of what I've written this past year has been un-beta'd. Either because of time constraints (like with bday fic!) or because they weren't meant for mass consumption. They were just quickie LJ fics for the amusement of my friends. They show it, too. Not because they were awful, but because they lacked… something.

But I've been working on a couple of things – not overly long, but long enough – and I finally got my butt in gear and sent them to my trusting and loving beta. And just getting them back with all the edits and suggestions and questions… I've missed that. Not so much the punctuation edits, but the other. It makes me *think*, makes me strive to be *better*. Makes my writing shine. So thank you, yanatya. You make me a much better writer. Always.